My Calling as a Secular Discalced Carmelite

Often times I wonder why I ever became one, I never thought that after these years I will again come face to face with a vocation that I almost had, but was never given.

Yet, here I am again, facing it for the second time.

I really wonder If I was wrong when I believed that never was I called in a religious life?

I guess not, God do work in many mysterious ways that often times, is really very hard to grasp. Or is it?

But can anyone blame me if I start asking, what would have been my life if I have decided the other way around?

... I would have been a Priest by now, with my own Parish, with people to serve upon to... that is, if in between, I would not have chosen to leave before I could even be ordained.

But what if I did pursue what I thought to be my calling at that time and indeed was ordained?

... I will never would have met my wife, and I'll never ever have Miguel, that's for sure.

But here I am, after many passing years, called again to face another calling, a calling not to be a Priest and a father to all, but to be a father to a small family. The very root of society.

I guess that's the reason why it was never given to me, because someday I will be called again, not to be the father to many, but simply to be a father to a small one, not to change the world nor society, but to raise one.

My calling as a Secular Discalced Carmelite is not to change the world, but to become the catalyst of a new world.  Hopeful that through Miguel and his generation, they could change the world.

--Jov of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, OCDS