Wednesday, October 6, 2010

How I came to Know Carmel of the Holy Spirit and My Expectations on Formation

Journal - First Formation Proper

Scriptural reflections:

I see the parable of the sower as a form of a challenge for me, of finding out for myself what will happen to the seeds that fell on me. Will I allow the devil to snatch it away from me? Will I just receive it gladly but not allow it to sink deep into my heart? Will I allow the worries and riches and pleasures of this life crowd in and choke me? Or will I be one of those who will accept it openly, nurture it and allow it to bear fruit?

Truthfully, how I wish that I am part of the last option, but to say that the other three is not possible will be a form deception in my part, for I will not be able to do the fourth option without the grace of God.

How I came to know Carmel of the Holy Spirit, Subic.

I never believed in coincidence and never will, it is my belief that when things happens there is always a purpose, and what ever that purpose is, it is for me to find out.

Though I had already heard of the Carmelites at Subic, I never went there since we transferred from Quezon City to San Marcelino, Zambales until one day…

It all happened in the month of July 2006, during those times when my mother was still undergoing purification (bed ridden. she passed away two months later ) and I had a heavy heart and was about to go to Olongapo and meet a relative of ours. Prior to this I decided to drop by at St. Nicholas Parish Castillejos to receive the sacrament of reconciliation, unluckily for me the Parish Priest was not available.

I was really troubled then as I traveled from Castillejos to Olongapo, so I decided to pray the rosary as I travel. Then, as I pass by the Shrine of our Lady of the Miraculous Medal at Subic Hills, something within me made me remember the Carmelites, since I’m not really familiar of its location, though I do know I will pass by it before Subic town proper, I just could not help the feeling to drop by the place for some unknown reasons.

Then there it was, I stopped the bus and hurried down and move towards the entrance, though I’m not really sure if I will be able to enter the place, I just move towards it. Upon entry, I could see there were no people around the place, but in a distant I saw two figures talking. I decided to move towards them thou I’m not really sure why I went there in the first place.

I found out later that the figures I saw was a common visitor of the Carmelites and a nun talking. After the visitor had left the nun asked me If there’s anything that she could do to help me (she though that I was a seminarian) since it’s the first time she saw me in the place, I never knew what happened then, I just found my self crying my heart out and telling her my hurt, fears and anguish, she just listened and said some consoling words, then afterwards she asked me if I wanted to pray at the Chapel, I said yes and she pointed me to a make shift chapel, since the Carmelite Chapel is still undergoing renovation at that time (although we are already using the chapel now).

Before I entered the Chapel there I saw the image of St. Therese of the Child Jesus (I never knew until that day that St. Therese whom I pray to from time to time was a Carmelite). I stayed in the chapel for some time before I left for Olongapo, had my confession and then met my relatives.

After that experience, for some unknown reason I started attending mass every morning…yes… at Carmel of the Holy Spirit, Subic. Until one day it was early August of the same year, I was invited then by the OCDS President (He’s no longer the Community President after serving the Community for how many terms, and has already joined our Father in Heaven) to attend one of their monthly meetings. I never had any Idea nor even heard the acronym OCDS, until that day, and the rest were history…

My Expectations

I guess, my expectations for now are simply to know more about the Order and to grow in my spirituality the Carmelite way.

(Contents of this post is my journal- in formation that I wrote during my formation proper in Aspirancy, which I had finished prior to my clothing in 2007, and was only posted on this blog  on a  later date.  Indicated dates does not reflect recent events but, but events that had taken place years ago.)

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